Doing My Part

It was February 28th, the first day I was scheduled to be working on my own as a staff nurse. I began working at Crossroads in October and was grateful for the generous orientation period that had been wisely planned by Tresa and Cindy. During those five months, I had been working on refreshing and expanding my OB knowledge base, taking a 30-hour didactic course online through Heartbeat International, learning ultrasound scanning techniques from Tresa, and traveling to California to complete the clinical component of Heartbeat’s ultrasound training.

I was keenly aware that Crossroads had invested an abundance of time and money in my training, and I felt a sense of responsibility to ensure that those investments were not all in vain.

With all of that in the back of my mind, I walked into the office that day excited but also a little nervous. I knew that my schedule included two ultrasound appointments–the second of which was for an abortion-minded patient. I arrived early so that I could do everything in my ability to be as prepared as possible for the day: I prepped all the necessary paperwork, reviewed the information I had on each patient, fired up the ultrasound machine and TV, and warmed the gel.

All of the preparation, though, did not prepare me for what the day would hold. As I cleaned and disinfected in preparation for my second appointment who was abortion-minded*, I prayed. The Lord reminded me that He was with me, but I was feeling intimidated. As the appointment began, and we did her intake paperwork, the young lady appeared uneasy and was making very little eye contact as we spoke. That lack of connection only heightened during her scan. Every attempt I made to show her the beautiful baby inside her was met with nothing. No eye contact. No verbal response. Not even a glance at the ultrasound pictures on the TV. Nothing.

As I cleaned the exam equipment after her scan, I was crushed. My mind was flooded with whispers of doubt and discouragement: "You can’t do this job." "You couldn’t even get her to talk to you." "All of that ultrasound training was useless—you'll never get it." 

But God is good, and He was gracious to me in encouraging me through my coworkers. They reminded me that He did not ask me to do the heart work in our clients that I’m not able to do. He only asks me to be faithful in doing the things that He has called me to do: show His love, do the scan, and point to life. That’s it. The rest—the details of every client’s life and the workings in their hearts—He alone is able to do that work. By His grace, I’ll just continue to do what He’s called me to do and leave the rest to Him.

"Now to him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us—to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."     Ephesians 3:20-21

Written by: Christi Portzline, BSN, RN, Staff Nurse

Meet Christi: Christi Portzline is our new staff nurse serving our Mifflintown and Lewistown offices. She is from Juniata County where she lives with her husband David and six sons. Her background is in critical care nursing where she worked for many years before spending time raising her boys. Christi loves working at Crossroads and is grateful for God’s sovereignty in leading her there.