JUST 14 YEARS OLD
Since we moved to our new location in Mifflintown, I have seen an increase in teenage clients. These new clients range in age from fourteen to eighteen.
It’s hard to imagine a 14-year-old expecting a baby when I have three 14-year-old daughters of my own. As I filled out the intake for one girl and she told me her birthdate, it was very close to the date my three daughters were born. She walked in that day with her head down, looking depressed and worn. Her mom came with her this first time and was filled with doubt and worry.
The 14-year-old, Cathy* has been coming to her BRIDGES appointments alone and has really opened up. She revealed to me the initial plan to abort this pregnancy. She and her mom and the father of the baby thought that was best when the pregnancy test came out positive.
“I mean, I am only 14,” she said.
But it was at a doctor's appointment that she saw the ultrasound of her baby. He was moving and wiggling very early in the pregnancy. She told me that image was enough for her and her mom to know they could not abort this baby.
And truthfully, Cathy had every reason to abort according to the world’s standards. She lost her dad tragically. The father of the baby insisted she “get rid of it”—telling her that at 16, he cannot take care of himself, let alone another child.
And she is 14.
Cathy was told by her doctor that her pregnancy is high risk because of her age. She explained that her body is not finished growing and needs to nourish itself and may not understand the need to nourish another life inside of her.
During the last few sessions, as we looked at her developing pregnancy and discussed the struggles she faces at home, I reminded her that she and her baby both have a purpose. This baby was meant to keep her from further self-destruction. She knows that, too. Many people talk about her and have made negative comments about her family. I kept reminding her she did not take the easier way out, which she easily could have done so. But she was brave. I reminded her of something I tell my own 14 -year-olds when people gossip about them, “Haters are going to hate.” And it’s ok.
One of my triplets also offers this teen wisdom often, “You do you, boo,” which means, “You take care of your own business and don’t worry about anyone else.” Cathy is learning to do just that.
Just recently, she walked into my office and could barely contain herself with excitement as she went into the counseling room. I had been out of the office for a week, so it had been two weeks since we met.
“I found out the gender,” she said.
“Oooh. Boy or girl?” I asked.
“SHE THRUST THE ULTRASOUND PICTURES INTO MY HANDS. IN BIG LETTERS OVER A BEAUTIFUL IMAGE WERE THE WORDS, “IT’S A BOY!!””
She thrust the ultrasound pictures into my hands. In big letters over a beautiful image were the words, “IT’S A BOY!!!”
I squealed in delight with her. She shared with me his name and how he looked on the screen and what he was doing. That same girl who came in a few weeks earlier with her head down now had a glow. Is her life perfect currently? Not at all. She still has a number of significant stressors for a 14-year-old. She has experienced things none of my 14-year-old daughters could ever fathom.
But she is in love. She is in love with the little boy in her womb, who will call her mom one day soon. I’m so glad God gave me the opportunity to help her prepare to meet him.
*Names were changed to protect client confidentiality.