Colors of Compassion- What Color Are You?

by Tabitha Goodling, Client Services Manager- Mifflintown

Some wonderful curriculum opportunities have been made available to us here at Crossroads. For our clients in the various stages of parenting, these classes/videos/books are vital in the navigating process. In recent months our staff has been introduced to the four temperaments of children/individuals through two Right Now Media series by expert Kathleen Edelman.

The series for parenting our children based on their temperament is called, “A Grown-Up’s Guide to Kids’ Wiring.” The adult version for those of us trying to understand our spouses, co-workers, friends and family is “I Said This, You Heard That.”

These videos introduce us to the God-given temperaments each of us bestow. The four main types have been color-coded for our basic understanding: Yellow (Sanguine), Red (Choleric), Green (Phlegmatic), and Blue (Melancholy).

Let me give you a little description of each and explain to you why this is significant in understanding our children and one another.

I am a Blue. Blues tend to aim for perfection, are prone to be critical of others and very hard on themselves as well. It is important to them to follow the rules. They do not like to be surrounded by too many people at one time and feel that they work better when they work alone. They are very empathetic, however, and love one on one discussions and bonding.

The opposite of us are Yellows. Yellows are the life of a party. They love lots of attention and crave being with as many people as possible. They thrive on the “fun” in life and tend to exaggerate and talk too much. Yet they will be the most encouraging person you will ever meet and are happy to lift someone’s spirits.

The Greens are a bit more laid back. They tend to be quiet and intuitive. They take in their surroundings and think cautiously before speaking or making decisions. They almost seem unenthusiastic at times but they really do enjoy being with people. In fact, they would rather be with people than be alone. They are often procrastinators and they do not like to be pushed into decisions or anything they simply do not like to do. They will push back and simply refuse to give in if pushed too hard.

Reds are typically leaders. They like to make the rules and to manage tasks. They are very strong personalities and can come across as abrasive to some people. They don’t often recognize their weaknesses but thrive in their strengths. Reds are confident, dependable folks and loyal to those they care about.

Now that you’ve read those descriptions you perhaps recognize your own temperament or the ones of those you love. If you go online, you can find a test to accurately find where you fall. (https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/O4TS/ )

This series has helped me not only as a mom, but as I engage with my clients here at Crossroads. In the series it discusses what each temperament expects and needs from others. For example, a client who does not seem talkative and is extra quiet may just have a “green” temperament and truly value the time she has here. I should not assume she doesn’t want to be here. She may also not choose to make a decision right away and may show signs she is uncomfortable with making that decision on the spot. I need to be patient with that client.

A client who is very talkative and extra “hyper” (a yellow),will feel validated if I give her my full attention and eye contact as she speaks so that she feels heard and supported.

I could go one with examples, but I think you get the idea. This series has made me really reflect on understanding why people “are the way they are.”

We have a true expectation, I believe, for people to be just like ourselves. We don’t understand why someone would make the decisions they make or take the approach that we would not. Just go on social media and see all the bewildered people angry with those who do not “get it.”

What if we all “get it” in our own way?

Much of our differences is due to how we were raised, the environment we live in and any trauma we have experienced. That makes sense, right? But we fail to recognize that we are each “wired” differently.

God has designed us each so specifically unique. Yet He gave us each a way in which we respond, react, and reflect that can be in tune with someone else – if only we understood it.

We don’t have to “match” like a carefully put-together outfit. Instead, we need to clothe ourselves with this: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” – Colossians 3:12

That’s something we strive for here. We seek to understand and not to condemn. I am so thankful for the curriculum and trainings that help us glean that understanding.

In our “Commitment of Care and Competence,” one of the phrases states “Clients are treated with kindness, compassion and in a caring manner.”

That compassion, care and kindness present themselves with a need for understanding – to the best of our ability.